Library stream of consciousness

15th September 2016

I’ve come to the library today. It’s an amazing place, full of books and quiet. The silence in here is almost heavy on the shoulders. I, of course, run to the American Literature section as soon as I got here. There was just one Fitzgerald book. I borrowed it. I borrowed a second book too, by Raymond Carver. It wasn’t on my list, but I think it could really help my inspiration gland.
After borrowing the books, I went upstairs, sit to a table. The girl in front of me keeps staring, I don’t really know why. Maybe she’s just curious to know what I’m doing here. She probably comes here often, maybe everyday, and has never seen me before. Anyway, her phone keeps buzzing on the table, how annoying.
A woman on the left table spilled her coffee. She’s trying to fix the damage with a soaked tissue. The nice thing is that now the whole room smells like hot Espresso. Too bad the smell alone can’t keep me awake. My eyes are so tired that the words on the screen are just helping me to fall asleep, even if I can’t.
I started to read the Fitzgerald book, but I don’t want to spoil the reading, so I put that away after one page.
The woman has left, and at the other table there are two girls. I know them, not personally, but I’ve seen them many times before. We were at Middle School together. They’re studying. Well, one is studying; the other one is procrastinating on the phone. We already have one thing in common.
I envy them, here studying whatever they like. I guess the one with curly hair wants to be a surgeon after she graduates. The other one seems more like an Economics School type. Maybe a future lawyer.
I wish so much I could attend university too. I wanted to do it so much. Family selfishness.
The second girl has now put her phone down; she has a highlighter in her hand, a yellow one. She seems like one of those perfect girls who have everything they’ve always wished for. Lucky her, if my impression is true.
It’s 6:30 pm. Both the clock and the bell tower are informing me of that. The girl in front of me has left too. She was looking at the phone and staring at me more than reading her book.
I came here to catch up on my work, but I’ve barely started. I really wish I came here to study, like everyone else in this room. They’re probably complaining about university instead. I’m sure they can’t wait to graduate and find a job.
Yes, because that’s the problem. We are never happy with what we have. We look around and wish. We always want more. Brighter, newer, different more.

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